


Things You Never Said

by TheXGrayXLady



Category: Mass Effect - All Media Types, Mass Effect Trilogy
Genre: Canon-Typical Violence, F/M, Fluff and Angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-24
Updated: 2019-04-24
Packaged: 2020-01-25 19:00:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 500
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18580636
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheXGrayXLady/pseuds/TheXGrayXLady
Summary: Shepard says, “I love you,” to Kaidan in a thousand ways. A reminder that he’s not on nightshift and she’s not going to approve overtime so he might as well go to bed. Pulling him into blind spots in the Normandy’s security system with reckless kisses. She invites him back into her orbit and tells him he can stay if that’s what he wants.





	Things You Never Said

**Author's Note:**

> Written for the prompt, "Things You Never Said," on Tumblr.

Shepard says, “I love you,” to Kaidan in a thousand ways. A reminder that he’s not on nightshift and she’s not going to approve overtime so he might as well go to bed. Pulling him into blind spots in the Normandy’s security system with reckless kisses. She invites him back into her orbit and tells him he can stay if that’s what he wants.

She listens to him talk about medicine, fascinated long after anyone else was grossed out. She loans him a favorite pen because it has nice archival ink and she thinks he’ll like it just as much as she does. She trusts him with her not entirely illegal decryption program. Shepard bounces ideas off of him and lets him care for her as much as her pride allows.

She says, “I love you,” in a tired, terrified voice when she tells him about Earth and Akuze because she wants him to know who she is. She says it again in Huerta, this time daring him to tell her she did the wrong thing, when she lays out everything she did with Cerberus. He never breathes a word of it to another soul.

More than anything else, she gives him her time. With the war going on, every second is valuable. Shepard’s time more so and she knows it. Yet every moment she can spare, she gives to him without hesitation. From a sparring session that becomes a little too intense to quiet company when migraines have him out of commission.

Sometimes, Kaidan almost feels guilty, but then she looks at him with a dangerous grin playing at her lips. He calls her by her first name when they’re alone and the little reminder that she’s human makes her so happy. He’s too damn grateful for every second he has with her to feel like he’s taking her from something more important for long.

Then the battlefield is swimming, the gunfire and explosions far away. He can’t feel his leg. Everything else hurts. When Garrus shifts, he thinks his foot will go out from under him. Everything’s blurry and unfocused, like looking through a pond.  Shepard gently caresses his cheek, and suddenly, she’s in sharp focus.

For once, she’s not hiding anything. Her fear, exhaustion, horror are all on her face for everyone to see. Her eyes lock on his with a terrible, grim determination. He’s never been more scared of what she’ll do next.

“Please don’t leave me behind,” he says. He reaches out, takes her hand in his. He can’t hold her back, but there’s nothing but open ground between them and the beam. He only needs to protect her that far.

“Kaidan,” she says not looking away, “I love you.” It sounds like a fact. The sky is blue. Her drivers’ license is fake. She loves him. It sounds like goodbye.

Then she turns away and runs. It’s not until she vanishes like a mirage that he realizes she never said it out loud before.


End file.
